wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
