Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
