Joe is yelling at the trees again.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
