My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
