i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
