she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
