Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
