my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
