Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
