She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
