His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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