dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
