I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
