once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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