you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize