Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
