in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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