no. you can't hotbox the world.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
