So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
