ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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