these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
