Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
