I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
