Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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