I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
