You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Randomize