Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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