No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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