Umm I'm too high to move.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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