Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Randomize
