why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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