Her vagina should come with caution tape.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
