if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The uberlube is also flammable
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
