my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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