They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
