I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Randomize
