i will never coherently bang her
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize