They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
