I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
operation harelip BJ is a go
our cab driver is having phone sex.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
