New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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