If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I came so hard my ears popped.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
