Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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