Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize