did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
