I like to think it a success when the cops are called
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
