Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
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