I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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