Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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