Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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