hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
