addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
My liver just had a heart attack.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
