i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
