I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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