Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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