My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
