I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize