Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
