Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She's like a pop up book from hell.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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